I am on the dreaded "break" with Zachary. Breaks are just these stop signs before moving up towards heartbreak. I mean they're supposed to be a reason to save a relationship. And I do believe they help, but it's hard not to lose all hope sometimes.
Being on a break is dangerous territory for me however. Breaks are the in between. You don't have a boyfriend, but you aren't welcome to the perks of being single either. Which isn't so bad unless you're me. I seem to need affection at all times and if I'm not getting it from Zachary, I might start to stray- not emotionally, just physically. That sounds terrible, but it's true. I really hate that I'm like that, but it's true. Sometimes I think I need to not get affection at all for a long time to condition myself to way I was before I ever had affection. Other times I accept this part about me and feel that it can't be all that wrong, especially when I know other girls are like this too. All I ever need is someone holding me. I love the feeling of arms wrapped around my body.
Not talking to Zachary has made me feel lonely. It's only been five days, but I talk to him a lot. I had no one to tell anything to. Boyfriend's are the only people you can pester with dull aspects of your life and they actually care or at least feel obligated to care.
Zachary and I have been having a hard time with one another. Hence the break. I just hope I don't get bright eyed by the first person who gives me the affection I'm yearning for.
STAY STRONG.
