Female Seeking M/F To Talk Incessantly On Phone Late At Night

I swear to you there is nothing more lonely than the night. 

If you're anything like me you are at your best at two forty AM. 

I am half nocturnal and it isn't crowded here. 

But really it's certain nights. Certain nights where there is just simply too much on my mind. 

There is no possible way I could shut down. 

I have my first day of work tomorrow (IGOTTHEJOB!) and I need to get up, but to get up I'll have to fall asleep.

When I have these nights, I used to call male companion Michael. 

Michael was the guy for me.

He wasn't my boyfriend, but he was reliable like one.

He shared the same sleep schedule: none. 

And we shared the same brain. 

He was the guy for me. 

I could call him at any hour and he would pick up, he would talk to me.

We would talk until I got tired, after I had released all the things in my head onto his ear. 

It was like when my father used to play guitar for me until I fell asleep.

But as Michael was not boyfriend before, he is not my boyfriend now. 

He is someone else's reliable guy and yes, you might be thinking:

"That's good for him, don't be a selfish girl bitch. Let him be happy."

I wish I could be, I don't have the patience for people like that.

People that cannot be friends when they have a boy/girl friend.

I don't need things to be exactly how they were, I just need is a friend.

And man, he is shitty at being a friend while being a boyfriend.

I hope people like that get dropped on their ass when their significant others break their heart and no one is there for them because they shit all over that friendship thinking they didn't need it anymore. 

It's a really shitty thing to do. 

I write in this blog with the hopes of releasing this anxiety I have. 

With the hope it can help me go to sleep if I write it all out. 

I can't imagine the world without the internet. 

How much lonelier I would feel.

Because even though I write knowing that only three people subscribe to this blog and maybe none of them actually read it, it's just the fact that it is out there. That this blog is readable. I mean apparently 9 people stumbled upon this page today. It might have been a mistake, they might have left immediately, but there's still the possibility that some fourteen year old girl in Milwaukee actually read this post. It just makes me feel a little less lonely. 

The internet may do a lot of shitty things, but it has always been there for me when I have been lonely. 

It's where I met the guy for me. 

But he isn't the guy for me anymore. 

I need replacements for him and pretty much everyone else that meant a lot to me. 

The person who actually read this post probably won't stick around for the next one due to the heavy self-pitying tone. 

Please accept my apology.