Sunday, May 6, 2012

SEX AND VIOLENCE SEX AND VIOLENCE SEX AND VIOLENCE

So I'm watching a Lifetime movie. 
Saturday Night.
Oh yeah.
Lifetime movies are a genre all their own. 
Who writes this shit?

What Does A Lifetime Movie consists of:
Female leads
Abusive boyfriends/husbands
Killers
Sociopathic girl bitches
Sex
Suicide attempts
Fat girls with issues
Skinny girls in fat suits
Obsession
Actors/actresses that are semi-familiar
Rape
Twists that so unrealistic you could never predict it
Plots that start to become easier to predict after getting the mindset of a Lifetime film
Troubled Teenagers
A true story that might have been true, but was definitely embellished 

But, you already knew that. 

Ah. The pleasures of home. There's nothing like a couch and real time television: 

Catching the movie at the same part every time
Catching the last part of the movie and then watching the beginning during an encore presentation
Watching bullshit movies like Sweet Home Alabama that you didn't like the first five times 
The art of switching between commercials and then forgetting about the other thing you were watching entirely

And of course the pleasures of DVR

Pausing to go to the bathroom
Pausing to get food
Pausing again because you forgot something to drink
Fast forwarding through commericals
Rewinding back after you fast forwarded through part of the show
Pausing and then hitting rewind/fast forward to watch in slow motion 
Getting pissed when it doesn't record the latest episode of America's Next Top Model
Becoming suicidal when all of your recorded shows get erased

All I can say is, I am thankful for a television companion. 


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